While we’re in college, we’re concerned with finances and studies, but a large portion of our brain power is also occupied with dating. Dating can be an incredibly excruciating experience, if you let it be. For some reason, there seems to be an inherent awkwardness that everyone places on the act of dating. This is especially true in an era where dating has been greatly affected by the internet and convenience that digitization has placed on the dating scene. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. The key to getting a better experience out of dating doesn’t start when you pick up your date. Instead, it starts with making a better you, so that you know that you are in the right position to be dating, in the first place. Here are some personal goals that will help your dating life…
Love yourself, first
The first thing that you need to do, before you can even think of having a fulfilling dating life, is learn the incredibly difficult skill of self love. This is an important part of many aspects of life (it’s a necessity that is taught and practiced in addiction recovery), but is especially crucial in the dating scene. After all, if you can’t truly love yourself, then how are you going to have the emotional maturity that is needed to foster a longer-term relationship? Think about the person that you want to be, and always be taking every little step that you can to make yourself a better person. Oftentimes, on this journey, the opportunities for dating will present themselves in a natural way. To start, though, practicing personal hygiene and living a little healthier is always a good first step.
Assess your finances
If you want to start dating around and meeting new people, then it is important to make sure that your finances are relatively stable. This is a general responsibility, as you should work on getting your life under control before you think of sharing it with anyone else. This isn’t to say that dating has to be an expensive endeavor. After all, there are plenty of great, cheap date ideas out on the internet. However, if you find yourself at a financial low, then it might not be the time to open yourself up to the dating scene, and is probably better to tackle those issues, first. That being said, don’t procrastinate dating because you’re always thinking that you’ll be richer and more desireable in the future. Dating shouldn’t break the bank, and you shouldn’t bank on money to win over a partner, either.
Enjoy the act of dating, itself
One of the greatest contributors to the awkwardness that is placed upon dating is the toxic expectations that people come into a date with. Remember, you don’t need to find the love of your life on every date. This isn’t a do or die alone situation. Instead, learn to have an open mind and enjoy the date, inherently. After all, you’re getting to share a special evening with a certain individual. There are unique aspects to every person, and it can be incredibly fun getting to share your own eccentricities with another individual. Simply relax, let your personality shine through, and have fun on the date. Even if you don’t think that there is any romantic potential here, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make a friend and have a good time.
Don’t compare yourself to others
Oftentimes, many people feel like they are trapped in a cage of expectations, when it comes to the dating scene. There seems to be this uncontrollable urge to compare ourselves to everyone else. However, this is only going to highlight our insecurities, and get in the way of developing a true connection with any of our dates. Don’t let yourself get trapped in this cycle. Instead, work to be your own individual, and don’t waste time trying to compare yourself to anyone else.
Strive to do new things
While there is nothing inherently wrong with the classic dinner and a movie date, dating can be so much more fulfilling if you see it as an opportunity to be creative and try new things. Oftentimes, the best way to get to know a person is if you are both in the throes of adventure and trying something new. This also helps you find new interests, and gives you both the opportunity to have a great time!